2 am in the middle of the night…my chest and my back is squeezing me …

the great anxiety…

I am afraid… I am vulnerable… I am lost…

will I be able to come back? Will I be able to continue? Will it continue? Will I lost it? Will it disappear or run away?

why is it so important? Why? Why can’t I lose it? Why am I afraid of losing it? Why am I anxious about it?

Bc the feeling of heart broken is unbearable…









No place to escape to

Great fear and anxiety come from when you don’t have a solution to change bad situations.

so you stuck, you don’t know what can you do , because what you’ve been trying doesn’t work. And you are confused.

time is passing…

what you have been wanting for, is still missing.

maybe that’s the essence of life.. is to be suffering.

I can see how I would have a lonely life for the rest of my life.


Anxiety come out when I’m asleep , when my conscious mind is relaxed, the unconscious mind start to play the rule, and it brings uncertainty, fear, 


i hate it so much  

i don’t know why we stopped talking to each other.

I guess we both thing we are awesome and we can’t let that self images go .

so we end up being lonely... at least I’m lonely