I am scared ….
I am so scared when I think about those lonely time I spent alone in New York City. I am so scared to think about when I come back to New York City next month, my life. would. be. the. same.
It’s never the same, but the same…loneliness…it’s so scary….so fucking scary…..
I am in self-doubt… New York is an illusion…….. All the happy moments are illusions, they fuck me up later and become my nightmare…
Happiness is a nightmare.
Life is a nightmare.
Feeling is a nightmare.
Be Human is a nightmare.
Nightmare is not real, it’s just a bad dream..
But aren’t anything I mentioned above are not real? They are all illusions.
But am I really scared about it? Haven’t I gotten used to it already?
Aren’t life always disappointing ? Haven’t I gotten used to it ???
Happiness is a nightmare and it makes me dumb.