I am writing some dance performance application today. The application asks me to write about what I want to develope from the piece I am applying. So, I thought I'd watch the piece first. I haven't gotten time to watch my solo since Jun. Because I got several other projects to work on. The whole summer was just crazily BUSY.
When I was watching the piece today, I was a bit suprised. I think I made it, I did what I wanted to express through the dance. The dance is complicated and disturbing to some degree, at least I think so. When I was choreographying this piece, my initial idea was trying to reveal the disordered psychology of woman in 21 ceuntry. I use projected video images of myself as the essential character in the dance. The video reveals a very personal and private self. The self that nobody knows. The video images of myself were very strong. They feel like they were in a dark, hidden place, where was nobody around, where they could reveal their most real desires. The desires of been loved, been touched, been looked at, been desired. However, the video was discomforting. I tried to challenge the stereotype of beauty. I distorted my face in the videos after, or juxtapose my sensual flash--the female body. The face was the representation of my thoughts.
I tried to shock people. I wanted to express that I was an angry and madly crazy ghost. I wanted to say that I was suppressed by the uneven power of sex;I was suppressed by the definition of woman in the capitalized society. I was scared of all the "compliments" of my beauty, because I didn't know what's the real intentions behind them. I suppressed my desire of love, of affection, of sex. Instead, I was mad, I wanted to defense, I wanted a revenge.
The self performed in live was the one who struggled. The one who was trying to recognize herself yet was in a situation where she was confused, confronted, she was trying to fight, to escape, yet she was surrendered....
During the creative process, I couldn't really sure if I was doing what I wanted to do. Because when I was thinking about it everyday in very moment for such amount of time, I got too familiar with it,I lose the sense of judgement. I went with my intuitions. Watching it today, I think I made it!
The Dance is still questionable. I think I need to figure out several questions....and I need make a better version of it!